Hello Madam Felicia, I am Esther and he’s Obina. I dated him for almost a year and along the line, i found out that he smokes, i tried talking to him buh all to no avail so i informed his sis and it led to a break up. I decided to let go but some weeks later, we met and talked and he told me he still loves me and has decided not to get over me so i told him we should get back together and he said he’s not ready. Ma my problem is, he claims he’s still interested in me and don’t want me to date but he hardly talk to me lately and sometimes i really get hurt cause in my heart, he’s the only guy i’m yearning for so i decided to change my number and keep away from him in other to be happy since he doesn’t want to date me. Please have i taken the right decision? I need your advice please.
My candid opinion is – nobody understands how you feel or what you are going through better than you, no matter how you explain, you know better…if you are honest with yourself.
In most cases, we try to refuse to see the exact solution to a situation even when it’s staring right at us.
You have dated him for almost a year and just found out that he smokes. What else are you yet to find out?
It is obvious you are not comfortable with his smoking habit. I need you to understand that in cases like this, you can not change people or force them to change, except they make up their minds to change by themselves, and this requires a gradual and not too immediate process.
I suggest you have a one on one chat with him, discuss what has gone wrong and why things are going the way they are in your relationship. If it’s because of his smoking habit, and you think you can’t cope with it, then, you have weighed your emotions, principle and personality. Is your love for him strong enough to make you overlook his smoking habits, even if you pretend to be okay with it now, will you be okay with it tomorrow?
Weigh all your options, and try to be realistic with yourself. If you’re not getting enough commitment from him to convince you that he really cares about you, then he’s probably not the man for you. Forget about him and live your life. the right man will come to you soon.