I am physically challenged, precisely using a wheelchair. I’m 23 years old, a student in one of the Nigeria universities. I dated my ex for 6 years..He was everything to me because he accepted me just the way i am. Even when i denied him of sex, he never left me, he went as far as promising to marry me when he was ready. Everything was working out perfectly between us, though we sometimes have misunderstanding. One day my brother, who was also a very close friend of his reveal to me that he was a smoker. I never doubted him because he do take alcohol, always go for party, hangs out with people that smokes.On several occasions whenever i was with him, i do perceived the odour of cigarette on his garment. To cut the story short; I hated guys that smokes.when i confronted him, he denied completely, how can i help him to change as some friends advised when he cannot open up to me? I Finally broke up with him.This year by August will make it complete 4 years that we have been apart. He keeps calling for a reconciliation and i still think about him so much, i don’t really know if it is love. I have prayed and asked God to always change and return him for me, if he was the only one made for me. My problem now is that i’m not yet in any committed relationship, all those that are coming are only after my body. Was i really right in calling it quit? What should i do
Hi dear, really sorry for this late response!
I’m really glad to read from you.
What do we want in a relationship, no matter how crazy, if not sanity and happiness?
The truth is, you are the only one that can answer if you were right or not, to have called it quit.
Don’t let your judgement be clouded by thoughts of not having someone since he left.
Be sincere to yourself because you can not change someone except the person chooses to change, just as you can not be changed except you change by yourself for yourself/someone/others.
If at the end of your general evaluation and re-evaluation of what you had/have with him, you feel you can overlook his bad habits and stick with him regardless of him changing or not, then you can go ahead..after all, we are not perfect, but if not, do not give up on God or look down on yourself because of your disabilities, the right man will come your way….Trust me on that.
Happiness matters a great deal in marriage, and this can only be achieved through mutual understanding, trust and transparency.
Your safety also matters a lot, you need consider if you would feel or be safe with him, or can cope with him, given those behaviours.
I hope this helps!
Feel free to get in touch with me anytime you feel like, God bless you!