Hello Madam Felicia, I love this man and he loves me too. Love, trust and good character is not lacking in this relationship. We have been dating and very compatible for the past one year. We plan to get married by the end of this year. But, something came up recently. He is a Deeper Life Member and I’m not. I attend Redeem. During the first months of this relationship, we talked about it seriously because I fix my hair, wear earrings and simple make ups. I also told him that I desire a nice wedding gown for my wedding. I have always had that dream as a little girl. Is it wrong? Is it wrong for me to be happy on that special day of my life? Well, he agreed. He told me that he loved me the way I was. And he will start a new family with me at Redeem church. He also followed me to my church for the past one year. He bought me a golden necklace at one time. And always complimented my hair do. We have been the perfect couple and the envy of all until last week. He said I can’t make my hair anymore, I should not wear earrings, I should not apply any form of make up and our wedding will be done in his church not mine. He also said that I will appear that way on our wedding day. I have been downcast ever since because we have come a long way. One year is not one day or one week. Why didn’t he open up to me when I first asked him? Why did he tag along all this while? Why didn’t he go for his church girls? Why me? I don’t know what to do. I love him dearly. But I can’t afford to be unhappy for a long time as marriage. And what about my Cinderella kind of wedding? Should I also forget about that and be sad on my wedding day? I’m just tired. I don’t know what to do. He is a good man, one of a kind. I have tried explaining to him that these things are not sins. (earrings, weaves, make up) But he still insists that I will go to hell. What should I do? I’m 25. Should I forget about him and wait for a man that will accept me totally? Or should I go ahead with our wedding plans and try to be happy? Please, I await your response. Thank you.
There is nothing wrong to desire a nice wedding gown for your wedding, it is a special day in every lady’s life. Not withstanding, things should be done moderately and both of you need to critically discuss and examine this issue.
I need you to know that our spiritual level and understanding differs, and sometimes, influences our take on hair, earrings, make up etc.
If his beliefs makes him appreciate your natural beauty, that’s totally not a bad thing, it all depends on how you take it. You could see the positive side to this and look for creative ways to fly your natural beauty. There are hundreds of different way to style your natural hair and look beautiful without an excessive or too obvious makeups.
Give these some consideration, what should matter most in your marriage? What determines happiness in marriage? Are there other issues you see besides your religious compatibility? Can this issue in question be addressed?
The answers and decision to all these questions lies in your hands.
Compared to other relationship/marriage threatening issues, I think both of you should deliberate on it to reach a common ground and agreement. Wedding planning can be stressful, but it is an agreement between both parties and not solely on one, at the same time compromise has to be made too so as to get things resolved.
I hope this response would help, let me know how it goes.