The reality that many do not want to accept is that if you want to leave your past behind you, it is just a choice you have to make. As Tony Robbins put it:
Your past does not equal your future; unless you choose to live there.’
You simply cannot not have an effective relationship, with others or with yourself, if you continue to dwell in the past. You must focus on the here and now and on the future you are trying to create. When you leave your past behind and live in the present, you will notice that you experience happier, healthier relationships which bring greater rewards to your life and; your confidence will soar.
Simple steps to leave your past behind:
If you are ready to leave your past behind and set yourself free to create the life you really want; the following steps are sure to help you. Put this knowledge to work to actively let go of your past:
1. Avoid trying to deny your past
It’s best to face up to what has transpired. Don’t pretend that something didn’t happen. This doesn’t mean that you have to dwell on it or beat yourself up about it. Just make sure that you learn from the experience and then you can view it for the valuable learning experience that it has been.
I firmly believe that some things are sent to test us and provide us with an opportunity to learn and improve. When you take these opportunities you will not feel the need to deny your past; you will be happy to explain how you benefited from the experience.
2. Acknowledge your own understanding or lack thereof
Although we sometimes lack understanding about why those around us did what they did or how certain events happened, we tend to use our reasoning skills to determine why things might have happened. This can be a very useful experience but we must never forget that we do not know for certain. In some cases, you can test your opinions and see if you are right. However, in many instances, you simply cannot know for certain e.g. if somebody does not want to tell you why they did something, there is no way for you know for certain as you cannot read their mind.
The important thing here is not to make assumptions. You can spend some time coming up with as many potential reasons as possible. What this demonstrates is that you do not know for certain, so; why choose to accept the most negative reason?
3. If you’re unable to gain an understanding, it’s okay
To build on the last point; you may have struggled to make sense of things, but come up empty. Certain things are unable to be explained or understood. The best thing to do here is to choose to accept the reasoning which serves you best and move on. By all means, proceed with caution but do move on.
4. Ask yourself if you’re ready to let go
Sometimes, the reason that you do not leave your past behind and move on is because it serves you as a useful excuse. Maybe you’ve unconsciously used your past to avoid moving forward and going after the life you deserve.
Are you truly ready to let it go and start living a happier, more serene life? If the honest answer is ‘No’ then you need to examine your resistance and deal with it. As stated earlier, it is not about pretending that your past never happened; you need to deal with it so that you can leave your past behind.
5. Your past contributes to who you are today
Recognize that, although some elements of your past may be upsetting, you are who you are because of your childhood, parents, education, and other events from your past. I remember during my school days when I was constantly in trouble; I was always down and wishing I could be somebody other than who I was. I refused to accept authority for the sake of authority. I believed that just because somebody had a title, it didn’t mean that they were automatically right and I was automatically wrong.
However, I eventually learned to communicate more effectively and this enabled me to remain true to what I believed but express myself in a way that caused less fights and friction. Not only have I benefited from these skills; I make good money teaching these skills to others. I have benefited greatly from those tough times.