As parents, there are times when we are so busy trying to raise a good children we lose sight of the influence of our daily interactions with our children. We forget that they watch us and learn by our example. Children are like surveillance cameras and they “catch us being good and bad”.
1.Nagging- If you’re nagging someone, you know it. I know when I’m being a nag and I even annoy myself. Nagging doesn’t motivate, empower or encourage anyone to do what you want. It’s a waste of energy and it creates more conflict. Instead of nagging, think about what you want to convey when you are communicating with your child.
2. Pessimism- If you focus on the negative events in your life, you are not in the position to embrace what’s good in your life. Being a negative person damages relationships and is detrimental to your emotional and physical well-being. One way to find a balanced view on life is to be mindful of when we are being negative and complaining too much.
3. Worrying- As much as we’d like to, we can not shelter our kids from pain. Constantly checking in on our child makes us helicopter parents. Worrying about every little detail, sniffle and scrape will make your son an anxious child. Constant worrying only leads to fear filled thoughts.
4. Anger- First, we must understand that anger is a healthy emotion. How we express our anger is important. Our children learn about emotions by observing how we manage our emotions. Do you blow up for any little minor infraction? Deal with your anger issues. Your child shouldn’t have to be on the receiving end of your anger.
5. Passive-Aggressiveness- You’re still an angry person, you just manage to pretend you’re not angry. Being passive-aggressive is a weak excuse for not addressing challenges or conflicts in your relationships. Giving your son the silent treatment doesn’t teach him how to properly deal with conflicts.
6. Being Over-Indulgent- Whether it’s overspending or overeating, anything in excess is not good for you. Kids need structure. Too much of a good thing can be bad. Set limits and boundaries. Also, be consistent and enforce rules.
7. Distress- There is good and bad stress. Good stress intrinsically motivates us to persevere. Bad stress robs us of our health. Kids pick up on their parents stress levels. They also pay attention to how we manage our stress. Do you take time out and unwind or speak up when you feel stressed? Do your best to find techniques to deal with the stress in your life.
8. Ignoring Depression- Depression is a debilitating disease. Unfortunately, too many parents don’t address or properly deal with depression. We choose to ignore or dismiss our depression as “the blues” or occasional sadness. Break the cycle of depression by getting the help you need. Be transparent about your mental health needs.
Sometimes we allow the situations in our lives to control or dictate how we behave. Making a conscious decision to be aware of your actions and behavior will help you to be the example of social and emotional wellness for your son.