Hello Madam Felicia, im n Esther n hez Obina. I dated him for almost a year n along de line, i found out that he smokes, i tried talkin to him buh all to no avail so i informed his sis n it led to a break up. I decided to let go buh sum wks later, we met n talked n he told me he still luvs me n has decided nt to get over me so i told him we shld get back togeda n he said hez nt ready. Ma my prblm is, he claims hez still interested in me n dnt want me to date but he hardli talk to me lateli n sumtymz i reali get hurt coz in ma heart, hez de onli guy im yearnin for so i decided to change ma number n keep away frm him in other to be happy since he doesnt want to date me. Pls hv i taken de right decision? I need ur advice pls
My candid opinion is – nobody understands how you feel or what you are going through better than you, no matter how you explain, you know better…if you are honest to yourself.
In most cases, we try to refuse seeing the exact solution to a situation even when it’s staring right at us.
You have dated him for almost a year and just found out that he smokes. What else are you yet to find out?
It is obvious you are not comfortable with his smoking habit. I need you to understand that in cases like this, you can not change people or force them to change, except they make up their minds to change by themselves, and this requires a gradual and not too immediate process.
I suggest you have a one on one chat with him, discuss on what has gone wrong and why things are going the way they are in your relationship. If it’s because of his smoking habit, and you think you can’t cope with it, then, you have weigh your emotions, principle and personality. Is your love for him strong enough to make you overlook his smoking habits, even if you pretend to be okay with it now, will you be okay with it tomorrow?
Weigh all your options, and try to be realistic with yourself. If you’re not getting enough commitment from him to convince you that he really cares about you, then he’s probably not the man for you. Forget about him and live your life. the right man will come to you soon.