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My Fiance was going through my messages and stumbled on a chat I had with a male colleague at work. He flared up immediately he saw a funny chat I had with him talking about sensitive parts of my body and he bluntly refused me afterwards.We have been dating for four years now. He wants to break up with me and I won’t want this relationship destroyed because I honestly don’t have anything in common with the guy I chatted with. Please, can you advise me on what to do?
Thank you for your email, and for trusting me with your relationship issues.
It’s interesting that you speak about your fiance in a very good light, it goes far to show what he means to you. I have three things that I hope will help you resolve this crises.
1. Get your friend who you had the joke with to call your fiance and apologize.
Although some guys may find this even more embarrassing, but if you could plead with your friend to call your fiance and be very apologetic stating that the conversations were just dry jokes, that he did not mean to get you into any trouble. Also, if your friend has a girlfriend or wife, he should mention that in the conversation, stating that you are aware that he has a girlfriend/wife.
2. Prove to him that he is the only one, and that you can do anything to save your relationship.
Most men are very egocentric, and they like to show this off. So do what he says. If he has asked you to delete the friend’s number, or to ask him never to call you or send you such messages again, or even ask for the friend’s phone number, try to oblige, as this way you might be able to win your happiness back. I’m sure this friend of yours will understand when you explain things to him later.
3. Get someone who he listens to or respects to talk with him, this could be his aunt, mum, brother, best friend or even a spiritual leader. Just someone who he really listens to.
So there you go anonymous, I am sure one of these tips should help save the day.
I will be most happy to see you get fully back into your relationship, and be happy again. Let me know how it goes,
Warm hugs and regards,