Worries are truly poisonous emotion. It has no real value other than to highlight the fact that you have become too obsessed about something. Do not confuse worry with concern. Concern occurs when you know that either something is wrong or, something could go wrong.
It corrodes your self-esteem and confidence which in turn will affect your performance e.g. if you worry excessively about your presentation skills, you are more likely to screw up your presentation.
Don’t focus on what you can’t solve
When you’re a chronic worrier, unsolvable worries can be highly toxic to your physical and mental well-being. Also, if you’re a chronic worrier, you may think that every problem is unsolvable. You’ve got to learn how to distinguish between those problems you can solve and those you can’t in a realistic manner.
Dealing with worries you can’t possibly solve means that you must get in touch with your emotions and find out why you’re so anxious about something you have no control over. Worrying about a nuclear war falls under this category. It will likely never happen, but you may be obsessing over it anyway.
3 Questions to help you deal with worries
When you begin to obsess about a problem, stop a minute and try to answer the following questions:
1. Is the problem imaginary or truly imminent?
You need to get real with your time frames here. Is the problem likely to occur in the very near future? If the answer is ‘No’ then you are worrying needlessly as there is more than enough opportunity for you to prepare and take preventative action.
2. Is the concern you’re feeling realistic?
Sometimes it can be very easy to get carried away due to a lack of realism. Realism is the greatest tool in the battle against chronic worry.
One of the best ways that you can get a sense of realism is to ask yourself how you would react if the shoe was on the other foot. If you wouldn’t hate the other person for their mistake, why would you expect them to hate you?
Realism is also important when it comes to your expectations.
3. What can you do about the situation?
Again, realism is essential. You cannot control every element of your life. There are things that you can control and things which you have no control over. If you can control something then rather than worry about it, you should take the necessary action to deal with it. If you cannot control it then all the worrying in the world will not solve the problem. Therefore, there is no point in worrying; you must learn to let it go and move on.